Everyone has certain expectations while being in a relationship. However, not everything goes as planned, even in the best relationships. Sometimes situations can demand stepping down from what you stand for. But Should you lower your standards for anyone?
Well, the answer is simple. If you have a very long list of impractical and unrealistic expectations, you have to cut them down. But if all you want is a bare minimum and basic things, you do not need to cut them down.
Today, we will explore the reasons and situations debating about, whether to lower or not lower your standards for anyone.
When You Should Lower Your Standards?
You need to be fully aware of what you want in a relationship. Movies and novels are guilty of setting our expectations high. People mostly get delusional in their expectations from their partners. Real-life scenarios can be pretty different and may give you harsh reality checks. Setting a high bar of expectations usually crushes your desires and hopes.
We dream of a partner who is perfect in every aspect of life. But in reality, perfection doesn’t exist. You need to be very realistic about the criteria for choosing your partner.
Also, it is okay if you have expectations like a financially stable and good-looking partner. Or dream about someone who will open the door of his car for you. These are a pretty acceptable and realistic set of standards. However, if you are looking for perfect facial features, an Insta-worthy body or 7-digit earnings, you might be expecting too far. Having dreams is not bad but applying them to real scenarios is also important.
Keep In Mind That
- Dating or marrying someone exceptionally better than you, normally drains out your energy. Because you have to meet their standards too and come out of your comfort zone to match their level. It is better to date or marry someone on the same level as you. As it will not create an unrealistic comparison between the two of you or keep anyone on a pedestal.
- Having absurd expectations will stress both of you.
- Wanting your special one to be with you all the time and leave everything and everyone on your call is not a mature attitude. One has a life besides you. Stop expecting your partner to quit every single thing for you.
- If you are dreaming of a flawless character from Disney movies, you might need to tone down your standards so that you do not wipe out the right person from your life.
When You Should Not Lower Your Standards?
If you want to be treated right, you should have the necessary boundaries in your life. Desiring someone who respects and understands you is the primary need of any relationship. Asking for time and trust from your partner is not something you should be ashamed of. You should never lower your standards for someone who is not willing to give the essentials of a relationship.
Never Lower Yous Standards For
- Do not lower your standards only because you are single as being single is better than being in a toxic relationship. You do not have to be with someone who is not your criterion. Rushing into a relationship with the wrong person just because time is passing by quickly is like consuming slow poison that will affect you as time goes by.
- You should not lower your standards for people who are all about them. They do not give a second thought for you. People who have zero concern about you do not deserve your care. Staying with someone who makes you feel unhappy is not worthy of your love and you are wasting your time and efforts on them.
- If they insult you, do not support you in your personal growth, and career, and do not celebrate your success instead they always taunt you about your weaknesses and failures, they are not the right ones for you and you should avoid lowering your standards for them.
- Settling down with a loser only brings you disappointment. They will not appreciate your presence and efforts. They might treat you like crap because you did not draw the line on the first date.
What Happens If You Don’t Lower Your Standards?
Having standards might limit your options but that does not mean you should lower them down. You do not have to settle for less just because everyone is settling for less. If you excuse them for their low efforts one time, they will be not going to put more effort in the future. If you accept less one time, they will provide you less every time.
Moreover, lowering your basic standards does not attract the right partner for you. You will end up having someone who is there for you only for a short period, putting low effort to the point that you feel cheap and flawed. If you want someone more than that, keep your ideals practical and moderate.
Know that having healthy and rational standards does not let you fall into the arms of a toxic person. Being alone is difficult but being with someone who adds negativity to your life, manipulates you, and exploits you without feeling any regret is worse.
You should not be ashamed of having standards if you believe they are reasonable. Waiting for your better half is completely alright if you do not want to receive limited efforts.
Do not listen to people when they tell you that you are too picky because you deserve the kind of love and respect you give to others. You do not have to be afraid of being alone because it is better to be single than settling for fewer and unhealthy connections.
In A Nutshell,
It all depends on what you want in your life. It is okay to be selective and wait for your Mr. Right but on the other hand, lowering your standards does not mean you are failing your values. Because sometimes to stay happy in your life, it is essential to get rid of your long list of high and unrealistic standards. Your highly impractical standards might eradicate the right person and true love from your life. Because love comes when it has to come. So try to keep your standards simple and set them out of self-love and not to show off your perfect partner.