Why Is My Boyfriend So Mean to Me?
Your boyfriend should be your source of strength. No matter how rude and tough the world is, a gentle and kind boyfriend can lift all the burdens from your shoulders. If you ever have to think why is my boyfriend so mean to me, then trust us sista, a red flag is waving at you and you are too blind to see it. As wise people say your relationship should not be a battle to fight.
Mean boyfriends can cause significant hurt. Girls are fragile and sensitive. They can get hurt beyond one’s expectations. Also, it can confuse them as to why their supposed protector is treating them so unkindly. Today, we, united with all the girlfriends out there, are here to address the problem, possible reasons and what can be done to solve it.
Why Is My Boyfriend So Mean to Me?
Trust us you are not the first lady to think or say it and neither the last. Relationships are complicated and people are full of drama. Here are some reasons that you need to look out for:
He is Emotionally Immature
A true mature gentleman solves the problem. He addresses them and faces them. Being mean about it is a sign of emotional immaturity. It is a clear sign that he lacks control over his expressions. He is impulsive and childish.
Also, if he shows sudden anger or mood swings, overreaction to things and blames you for things, he may have narcissistic tendencies. Anyway, do not think of the worst; you can solve this problem by communicating. You can gently encourage your boyfriend to talk. He can also take therapies for emotional regulation.
He Has Resentment Or Unresolved Issues
Well, a childish immature man can also build up resentment and instead of addressing it, can be mean to you. The clear signs of resentment are his sneaky remarks, his constant criticism or even his bringing up past conflicts in new problems. Also, it means his needs are not met which is why he is so bitter about it.
To address this issue you need to mature and strong. Try to communicate without getting into any fight. Seek therapy, and solve your problems before moving forward or your past problems will always haunt you.
Maybe He Is Stressed
When people are stressed, many times they don’t have the strength to channel their emotions wisely. He can be stressed about things totally unrelated to you but can still be mean to you because he didn’t realize it himself. We are not justifying his behaviour but if you notice his irritability, and frequent complaints about external factors, he is stressed. If he withdraws from emotional conversations, he is too drained to address them. You can simply ask him about what is concerning him. Sometimes all he needs is a little support from you and everything will turn magically in your favour. Never deprive your boyfriend of love, support and attention.
Low Self-Esteem
This is not about you but it can kill your relationship cruelly. Many times people project their insecurities on you and it can be very draining to you too. If your boyfriend has some insecurities, you are not responsible for them. However, you can do your part.
Try to make him feel included, appreciate him now and then and encourage him to work on his behaviour. With time, love and care, every healing is possible. If he is not ready to do this all, then sooner or later you are going to go away. Also, maintain healthy boundaries.
He Is Manipulative
Many times, boyfriends act rudely to control their girlfriends. His rudeness will make you uncomfortable and your energy will start shifting. You will try to please him and give him whatever he wants. Next time, he won’t have to say and you will simply know doing certain things will keep him normal. In trying to please him, you will start losing yourself. This is a very common toxic pattern.
The most common thing these types of boyfriends do is to isolate you from your loved ones. They will make you feel guilty about your choices and prioritise them. To address this issue, you have to be very strong. Draw very clear boundaries. This type of behaviour is an emotional red flag. Break yourself free from toxic patterns.
He Has Unaddressed Anger Issues
Your boyfriend can be mean to you if he has unaddressed anger issues. Many times this gets embedded in personality while upbringing. If your boyfriend yells, shows tantrums or breaks things when angry, he has serious issues. He can channel his energy towards something positive like exercise or physical activities. If he is not working on himself, we advise you to leave! He is never going to be better.
You Guys Have Compatibility Issues
Sometimes two people are simply not right for each other. Affection can make it look like love but love brings peace. If someone is not compatible with you, they can sound mean and rude. If you guys have frequent fights and disagreements, give it a serious thought. Either you must be able to resolve them peacefully or leave the relationship on good terms. If you are not good for each other, dragging unnecessarily will just drain you.
This Can be a sign Of Emotional Abuse
Most times victims can be unaware of what is happening to them. This is serious abuse and if you feel worthless in the relationship, break the chains girl and run as far away as you can. Chances are you also experience gaslighting and manipulative tactics. If this is happening, prioritize your safety.
How to Deal with a Mean Boyfriend?
Well, when one person is bitter in a relationship, it cannot thrive. You have to solve the issue before things get too bad. If your boyfriend is mean to you, this is what you can do.
- Assess the situation and try to resolve the underlying cause of his behaviour.
- Set very clear boundaries about how you must be treated. Trust us, nothing is good enough to cost you your worth or peace. Let your bf know, you are not ok and he must not treat you this way.
- Being a good girlfriend, offer him your support but it is up to him what he does with it. If he is not ready to have you by his side and work through his issues, leave him.
- Consider professional therapy and support.
- Know when it’s time to say goodbye. Giving him your support might be your duty but raising him is not! If he can’t step up to be a man, leave that red flag and move on!